Ephemeral Winds
by Sailor Panda
Summary: Kaoru, Aoshi, and a conversation beneath a sakura tree as pink petals fall and surprising revelations are unveiled.


AN: I really, really had to write this - I really did. It's just a little idea that's been tickling the back of my mind and giving me no rest until I wrote it out. Maybe one day, if I get the time, I'll do more and maybe do a series that preludes this but for now, this is it so enjoy and let me know what you think! (^^)  
  
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"Aoshi!"  
  
He turned at the feminine cry, watching with observant eyes from his seated position as he leaned against the sakura tree that rained down light pink petals with every gentle toss of breeze. As the branches above swayed with the touch of wind, so did her long black hair stream out from behind her despite being tied back with a ribbon, floating gently on the currents of air as she approached him with light steps. Curiosity was bright in those blue eyes of hers, the brilliant color of which was only brought out more by the deep blue hue of her kimono.  
  
"What are you doing?" Kaoru asked, coming to a stop beside him.  
  
He turned his gaze away from her, silent for a moment. He watched as pink petals continued to fall, fluttering in their gentle descent until they finally reached the earth. The whisper of cloth as she shifted her weight told him she was still waiting for an answer; even so, he never moved his eyes from the dancing petals before him.  
  
"Watching the wind," he finally replied calmly.  
  
"Oh?" Her lips quirked as she followed his gaze, observing as a light breeze kicked up petals on the ground and sent them skittering across the grassy plane. "Mind if I join you?"  
  
He inclined his head slightly, silently.  
  
Taking his assent, she knelt beside him. She carefully folded her legs and smoothed the cloth of her kimono down around them until she sat comfortably as she, too, leaned against the trunk of the tree. For a while, they sat in companionable silence, watching as petals fell and were twirled about by the wind before settling down to the earth while some were merely picked back up again and scattered to a short distance away, played with by the wafting breeze. Then the wordless quiet that lay between them was broken with her amused chuckle, a rich sound that had him turning to regard her curiously, wondering what it was that made her laugh so.  
  
Seeing his look she smiled. "Sorry. It's just that I was thinking that I'm not being very good."  
  
He frowned a bit, puzzled by her meaning.  
  
"They sent me out to find you and drag you back," she explained.  
  
"Drag me?"  
  
She chuckled again at the look he gave her. "You know what I mean."  
  
"Yes." He allowed a touch of humor to curl his lips. "So why are you sitting here with me instead of trying to accomplish your mission?"  
  
"As I said before, I'm not being very good." Mischief twinkled in her eyes. "If we don't hurry back soon, they'll send out someone to look for the both of us."  
  
"Yes," Aoshi said again, knowing it to be true.  
  
"After all," Kaoru continued, "it's been so long since we were all able to gather together like this again. It's noisy, I'll admit, but it's wonderful that we're all here, just like old times."  
  
Aoshi remained silent.  
  
"Why are you here anyway?" Kaoru asked curiously. "I know you may have wanted a little peace and quiet from all the noise but this is kind of far. Why did I have to come searching for you all the way out here?"  
  
He looked away, back to the dancing petals on the wind.  
  
"Aoshi?" she asked questioningly, a touch of worry on her features.  
  
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" went Aoshi. "Beautiful and sad."  
  
"What is?" she inquired softly, struck by his tone.  
  
He gestured with his head and she looked at the sight before them, the pink petals drifting on the wind. It was a peaceful and harmonious picture, natural and somehow right. She turned from that to gaze at his profile, silent and handsome, and she resisted the urge to reach out and touch those serious features that were drown with some dark though she wished she could smooth away.  
  
"Beautiful, yes," she agreed instead. "But why sad?" She asked even though she thought she knew.  
  
"It goes away." He grasped some of the petals that landed upon his knee, opened his palm before his face and blew, sending the pieces of sakura out and away to land elsewhere. "This time doesn't last forever," he said as he looked up into the branches of the flowering tree. "Neither does this sight. It blooms beautifully but the petals eventually fall and are carried away by the wind until the branches are stripped of pink. And the wind will continue to blow, winding through the branches, even though there are no more petals to carry away."  
  
"Aoshi," she sighed, frowning, but a part of her understanding. "That's depressing."  
  
"Perhaps, but it's true."  
  
"From one viewpoint, I suppose it is. But there are others and I do prefer a happier one."  
  
"Such as?" He looked at her, waiting.  
  
"Well," she responded, "I like the one that says that it blooms continually. Although it does change with the seasons and the blooms fade away, they always come back, again and again so I don't really think of it as going away. Because it's always there, waiting for the next cycle, a sure and permanent thing in its own way, ready to bloom again. It continues to flower just as the winds that die away come back to play with the blossoms once again when it does."  
  
Suddenly, Aoshi chuckled. "You're getting better."  
  
"At what?"  
  
"Philosophy."  
  
"Thanks. I had a good teacher." She smiled at him. "Now, what was it I just said? Because I think I need you to explain it to me."  
  
He laughed, a rich and full sound that filled her heart and caused her to regard him seriously. She waited until his laughter calmed, enjoying it herself, before she addressed him in an unusually quiet and somber tone.  
  
"Aoshi, why did you come so far away?" she asked.  
  
Aoshi grew sober. "Why do you think?"  
  
"It's been so long," she sighed. "Can't you enjoy being together again, all of us?"  
  
"With him?" he asked quietly, looking away.  
  
"With everyone," she said simply. "Do you really have a problem with this?"  
  
"Sometimes I don't." He kept his gaze locked on the falling petals.  
  
"But sometimes you do?"  
  
He didn't reply.  
  
"Aoshi," she said, sighing. "What can I say?"  
  
"You still love him." It was a statement not a question.  
  
"Yes," she said. "Of course I do."  
  
His mouth tightened and he fell silent again. He would have remained that way, eyes focused straight ahead and away from her if the sounds of shifting over grass and a layer of petals hadn't caught his attention, causing his head to turn around. He had a brief moment of being startled at finding her face suddenly so close to her own before he was lost as soft lips claimed his own in a kiss that had his heart thudding rapidly in his chest and his body aching for more. He reveled in her actions and regretted it when she pulled away with just enough space between them so that he could gaze easily into her lovely face and those bright blue eyes of hers that looked at him with such emotion in their depths that it caused his heart to clench.  
  
"I love you," she said seriously.  
  
"But-"  
  
"No," she said, placing a gentle finger on his lips to keep him quiet. "Yes, I love Kenshin. I'll always love him for the wonderful man he is. He's a friend and, once upon a time, he was more than that."  
  
He removed her finger from his lips. "And me?" he asked, gaze serious.  
  
"I love you," she said again. "Not in the same way as him because loving two different men isn't supposed to be the same. But to ask me which man I want to be with for the rest of my days, there's only one answer to that."  
  
"Who?" He tensed, knowing the answer and yet needing her to say it out loud.  
  
"You," she replied simply. She gave him a gently reproving glance. "It's been only you for a very long time. You should know better that by now."  
  
"I do, but," he shook his head, "there are some times when I can't help it."  
  
Kaoru gave an exasperated sigh. "It's hard to believe someone so strong can be so insecure like this."  
  
"Fighting is very different from love."  
  
"Not so different sometimes," she disagreed. "Both are exciting and sometimes viciously painful, not to mention unfair." She arched an eyebrow. "And sometimes enemies in either can become more than that so, really, how different are they?"  
  
"Philosophy really has become easier for you," he chuckled, amused.  
  
"Don't change the subject!" She glared at him sternly.  
  
"I don't think I was the one who changed it."  
  
"Aoshi!"  
  
He wanted to laugh at her irate expression but controlled himself. Her quick temper was one thing that hadn't changed about her in all the time that he'd known her. Though her nature was more mellowed with maturity, once her anger was sparked it was certainly a sight to behold. Lovely as he thought her when she was angry, he didn't want her upset on such a serious topic as this.  
  
"I'm sorry," he apologized, something that had become easier to him over the years.  
  
"You should be!" She glared at him hotly. "I want this settled once and for all; no more doubts about you, me, and him."  
  
He sighed. "It's easier said than done."  
  
"I don't think so." She leaned back away from him more, crossing her arms. "Aoshi, you really shouldn't have these doubts anymore."  
  
"And why is that?"  
  
"Because," she looked at him seriously, "it's been five years. Five years since we married, five years that I've spent with you, not him." She frowned. "To doubt me after all this time, well, it's insulting and I don't like it."  
  
"Once again, I apologize." His gaze was honest. "I don't mean to insult you."  
  
"Oh?" She gave him a look, obviously wanting more.  
  
"No." He shook his head. "I'm certain about us, I am. But there are times when I see you together with him and I wonder, just for a brief moment, that maybe things should have been different, that you should be with him and not me. And from the look he sometimes gives me, I know he thinks the same and it makes me wonder even more if I did the right thing."  
  
"Well, stop it." Her expression was stern. "Stop sounding like it was something you did. I had just as much a part in it, after all. I admit that it could have been handled better so that, maybe, Kenshin wouldn't have gotten so upset and the rest of us wouldn't have been put through so much turmoil. But it happened and no matter if things had gone better or just the same, the end result wouldn't have changed, me and you together." Her face softened. "It's okay to regret and wonder a little; you, him, me. Though I hope Kenshin doesn't dwell as much about it as you seem to think, if he does, that's his problem. This, right now, is definitely how it's meant to be so don't doubt that and don't dwell so much on what maybe should have been. Because I can tell you that I don't have any uncertainties about where I should be at all."  
  
Staring into her earnest features as she spoke so sincerely, he felt something within him relax and give way to her words. He knew her words to be truth, knew them before she even spoke, but it was still good to hear. He knew his doubts were ridiculous for she wasn't the kind to give herself to one man when she was in love with another and he would never have revealed this before someone else. But she was different, she always had been, and he felt that it was okay to be foolish at times, only if it was with her.  
  
"And so," he smiled confidently at her, "where is it you should be?"  
  
"Well," her eyes narrowed. "You look so smug, I don't think I should say."  
  
"Oh?" He was amused. "Then should I guess?"  
  
"Three guesses." There was a hint of mischief in her eyes.  
  
"Well, then, with Megumi-san?"  
  
She shot him a withering glare.  
  
"No?" He stifled a chuckle. "Then with Himura?"  
  
"Aoshi," she said warningly, eyes glinting dangerously.  
  
But she did love the fact that he was teasing her, something she treasured despite how irritating it could be at times because she knew how hard it had been for him to open himself up enough for it since the time they'd first met. That he could do it so easily now, at least when it was just the two of them, was something she still marveled at and had her easing, a teasing look crossing her own features as she shifted closer to him. She twined her arms around him and drew their lips close for another kiss, pulling back after they were both a little breathless to gaze back at him with sparkling eyes.  
  
"One more guess," she told him.  
  
He threaded his fingers through her hair and smiled. "With me?"  
  
She gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Smart man."  
  
"You make me feel very smart." He paused. "You also make me feel very stupid at times."  
  
"Don't think about it so much," she said to his perplexed expression. "A woman is supposed to make her husband feel both so I consider it a job well done."  
  
"Do you now?"  
  
"Yes." She tilted her head, looking at him. "So is it settled?"  
  
"For now," he said, knowing she was asking about his feelings concerning her and Kenshin.  
  
"For now?" She was frowning.  
  
"Don't be like that," he soothed. "I know there's nothing to it, I really do. I just can't help the thought that crosses my mind for a little while whenever I see him."  
  
"Well, it's a good thing you don't see him often then," she said in exasperation. "It's been three years since the last time he visited and I had this conversation with you then, too, if I recall correctly."  
  
His lips quirked. "It does seem like a lot of work for you, doesn't it? Perhaps you should pray for him to be gone another three years before he visits again." His expression darkened. "Or longer."  
  
"Aoshi!" She shook her head. "What am I going to do with you?"  
  
"Love me," he said simply, gazing at her solemnly.  
  
Her expression softened. "I already do."  
  
"Then that's all I can ask for."  
  
She smiled. "Still, we really should do something about this insecurity you have over Kenshin. It's been years so why are you still like this?"  
  
He gave a small shrug. "Jealousy is often unreasonable. There's no good way to explain it away."  
  
"Jealousy, huh? I suppose I should be flattered but, really, I just want it to stop."  
  
"Any suggestions?"  
  
"Would you actually listen to them?" she asked curiously.  
  
"Of course. If you can put a stop to me feeling like he might sweep you off and away from me one day, I'll definitely listen."  
  
"Sweep me away?" An eyebrow arched. "Are you that worried that I'll run off with him?"  
  
"More like him carrying you away." He smiled at her. "I've no doubt that you'd protest. Very vocally, too."  
  
"Hmm." She tilted her head, considering. "Do you think you'd stop feeling like that if Kenshin were married?"  
  
"To whom?" He looked at her suspiciously. "You already have a husband, remember?"  
  
"Not me, silly." She laughed. "Unless you're trying to push the two children you've gotten out of me onto him too."  
  
"No, I don't think I could live without any of you." His expression was amused. "So who then?"  
  
"Megumi-san? She was fond of him in the past, after all."  
  
"Isn't Sanousuke-?"  
  
"No. Haven't you been paying attention?" she asked.  
  
"To what?"  
  
"Sanousuke and Tae. You know, the girl over at the restaurant."  
  
"You mean they're-"  
  
"Yes," she nodded.  
  
He just looked surprised.  
  
"You really have no clue when it comes to love, do you?" She shook her head. "In any case, Megumi-san is free. And if she still has interest in Kenshin then-"  
  
"But then he'd be living here," he frowned, "in the same city as us."  
  
"You don't want him that close, I take it." She chuckled. "Well, how about Misao-chan?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"They'd make a good match, don't you think? Aside from you, she's only ever listened to him. And with her temper, she needs someone who can keep her calm when necessary."  
  
He thought about it.  
  
"Plus," Kaoru went on, "they'd both be living in a different city."  
  
"It's a good idea," he said instantly.  
  
"You're not just saying that just because Kenshin will be somewhere farther away, are you?" she asked suspiciously.  
  
"Of course not. What you said earlier is valid. She needs someone she listens to. Plus, she is older now and almost past marriageable age. It would be nice if she could find someone she wanted to tie her life with." He looked at her curiously. "But do you really think you can get them together?" He frowned. "Or if they're even ready for it?"  
  
"It's been five years, Aoshi." She cupped his face reassuringly. "Enough time for her to get over you, for him to get over me. And definitely time to move on if they haven't already. Truthfully, I don't really think they're stuck in the past. But it's also true that they're not involved with anyone else. Maybe it'll work, maybe it won't. After all these years, when we're finally gathered together, perhaps it's a good time to test the waters and see if something new comes out of it."  
  
"Well," he said humorously, "I'll leave it to you. You certainly deal better with this than me."  
  
"Oh, no." Her eyes twinkled. "A joint effort is definitely called for."  
  
"What do you mean?" He looked at her warily.  
  
"Well, it's not fair to leave me to do all the work when part of the reason for it is because of your insecurities, is it?" Her voice was teasing. "It's only right that you help."  
  
"And what would I have to do?" He was definitely wary.  
  
"I'll have to nudge Misao-chan along, talk to her and maybe pave the way to opening her heart to Kenshin." She batted her eyes. "But someone else will have to talk to Kenshin."  
  
"No." He shook his head vigorously. "Not me."  
  
"Even if would help place him farther away from me, if only in your mind at the very least?"  
  
"Well," he hesitated. "I still don't think I'm the right person for it."  
  
"Perhaps you can be persuaded."  
  
Something in her tone caught at him, had him looking towards her with wariness but also with a hint of anticipation as he took in the sight of he sparkling blue eyes gazing at him with love and another emotion not quite so pure. Certainly, it had his body thrumming and wishing that they weren't in so public and open a space as beneath the sakura tree where anyone could wander by at an inopportune moment.  
  
"And how would you persuade me?" he asked, tone a touch hoarse.  
  
Her eyes twinkled at him. "Another philosophy lesson, perhaps?"  
  
"Philosophy?" There was amusement now, though desire wasn't that far away. "Yes, you could use a few more of those."  
  
"I think so too." She smiled. "You can never have too many philosophy lessons."  
  
He laughed and drew her closer in a warm embrace, reveling in the feel of her in his arms and all the light and happiness she'd brought into his life. Through the pain and suffering they had struggled against in the past, moments like these made it all worth it and he would have it no other way than it was now.  
  
"So when can we have our next philosophy lesson?" he asked.  
  
"After we get started on our matchmaking plans."  
  
He drew back to look at her, taking in the wicked glint in her eyes filled with humor and love for him. Despite the humor, he knew she was serious and he couldn't help but chuckle at the way she twisted him around her finger. Shaking his head, amused with it all, he stood up, drawing her with him. He took her hand in his, entwining her fingers with his, determined not to let go though he knew there was no where else she'd rather be, as they walked back to where the others were waiting.  
  
"Very well," he conceded as she laughed. "Anything for the sake of philosophy." 


End file.
